Not Just Me

03rd February 2016
Life satisfaction plummets between the ages of 45 and 59, according to a new survey from the Office of National Statistics that the Guardian reported today. Thank God. I'm not alone although I don't recall filling in the questionnaire. Not that I'm paranoid. People say I'm paranoid. Well OK, they don't say I'm paranoid but I know that's what they're thinking.

The bit I recognise was that 'life doesn’t make sense in a world in which David Bowie is no longer alive and pyjamas are OK on the school run'. What is going on. I remember laughing at a story back when I was younger. Just after the war. The Boer War it feels like. Apparently a Judge back in the swinging 60s hadn't even heard of The Beatles. How could the cat be so unhip daddio I thought to myself. Just call me Judge Pricey. I watched an entire advert on the TV device for Capital radio. Lots of fresh face youngsters. It didn't dawn on me till afterward that they were all probably 'someone'. I have no idea who. Maybe Justin Bieber. Is he still alive?

So what to do. I've woken up at the bus station of life and the last bus outta town seems to have rolled out. I'll have to look in the drawers of life (not the frilly type) for any lost property I might recognise (Sony Walkmans, the 2 Ronnie's, hostess trollies) and build a makeshift shelter. I might be here for some time.